Laugh for the day

[luvtohunt]

A father and son went hunting together for the first time. The father said, "Stay here
and be very QUIET. I'll be across the field,"

A few minutes later, the father heard a bloodcurdling scream and ran back to his son.
"What's wrong?" the father asked. "I told you to be quiet,"

The son answered, "Look, I was quiet when the snake slithered across my feet.

I was quiet when the bear breathed down my neck.

I didn't move a muscle when the skunk climbed over my shoulder.

I closed my eyes and held my breath when the wasp stung me.

I didn't cough when I swallowed the gnat.

I didn't cuss or scratch when the poison oak started itching.

But when the two chipmunks crawled up my pant legs and said, "Should we eat them
here or take them with us? Well, I guess I just panicked."

 

[trper]

Made my afternoon! Ha!Ha!

 

[buckinrut]

Sometimes the young are just to eager.

A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop.
The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says,
"Okay old fart, time for you to retire."
The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely
you cannot handle all of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?"

The young rooster says, "Beat it! You are washed up and I am taking over."

The old rooster says, "I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop."

The young rooster laughs, "You know you don't stand a chance old man, so just to be fair I will give you a head start."

The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap. He is already about 5 inches
behind the old rooster and gaining fast.

The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by. He grabs up his shotgun and boom, he blows the young rooster to bits.

The farmer sadly shakes his head and says,

"Dangit, third gay rooster I bought this month."

Moral of the story...
Don't mess with us old folks. Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill

 

[Liv4Rut]

Those are great!!! Keep em coming guys!

 

[luvtohunt]

Survivor: Wisconsin Style

Due to the popularity of the Survivor shows, Wisconsin is planning to do its own, entitled "Survivor: Wisconsin Style."

The contestants will start in Milwaukee, travel up to Sheboygan and on to Manitowoc and Green Bay.

Then they will head over to Wausau and up to Rhinelander and Minocqua.

From there they will proceed up to Ashland and Superior.

Then back down through Rice Lake, Eau Claire and all the way down to Madison and back over to Milwaukee.

Each will be driving a pink Volvo with Illinois license plates and a large bumper sticker that reads:

"I'm gay.
I'm a vegetarian.
Bratwurst clogs your arteries.
The Green Bay Packers suck. Go Bears! Cheese is high in cholesterol.
Hillary in 2004.
Deer Hunting is murder.
I'm here to confiscate your guns!"

The first one that makes it back to Milwaukee alive, wins. Good luck to all contestants!