On the lighter side....

[Old Buck]

Roy the Rooster

This farmer has about 200 hens, but no rooster,
and he wants chicks. So, he goes down the road
to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster
which he would sell.

The other farmer says, "Yeah, I've got this great
rooster named Roy. He'll service every chicken
you got, no problem."

Well, Roy the rooster costs a lot of money, but the
farmer decides he'd be worth it. So, he buys Roy.

The farmer takes Roy home and sets him down in
the barnyard. He gave the rooster a pep talk,
"Now Roy, I want you to pace yourself now.
You've got a lot of chickens to service here, and
you cost me a lot of money. I'll need you to do a
good job. So, take your time and have some fun,"
the farmer said, with a chuckle.

Roy seemed to understand, so the farmer points
toward the hen house, and Roy took off like a shot.

WHAM! Roy nails every hen in the hen house three
or four times--and the farmer is really shocked.
After that the farmer hears a commotion in the duck
pen. Sure enough, Roy is in there.

Later, the farmer sees Roy after a flock of geese.
Once again, -WHAM! He nails every gander in sight.
By sunset he sees Roy out in the fields chasing quail
and pheasants.

The farmer is distraught -- worried that his expensive
rooster won't even last 24 hours. Sure enough, the farmer
goes to bed and wakes up the next day, to find Roy dead
as a doorknob -- stone cold in the middle of the yard.
Buzzards are circling overhead.

The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful and
expensive animal, shakes his head and says,
"Oh Roy, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you
to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself."
Roy opens one eye, nods toward the buzzards circling
in the sky and says, "Shhhh, they're getting closer...

 

[wanab.c.]

HAHAHA

 

[MadisonB&C]

Shoulda seen that that one coming

. Old Buck, these jokes you come up with are great

 

[Gene Hall]

Kinky rooster you have there... especially since a gander is a male goose. The rooster must have been really juiced.

 

[BW]

Good one! And not a bad tactic.

I remember reading a crow hunting article years ago where the writer used an old deer mount and wore a suit made fron old tan carpeting and laid out in the field with some decoys and called the bandits in. What a surprise for the crows huh?

Sounds like fun to me.

 

[wisco kid]

A city boy decided to quit the rat race and bought himself a farm, which included a few sows.

He wanted to breed the sows, but had no idea how to go about it. His neighbor volunteered his boars for the job, and told the city boy to bring them over in the pickup the next day.

So the farmer drops the pigs off and returns to pick them up in the evening. The city boy asked how he would be able to tell if the sows were impregnated. The neighbor told him to check where the pigs were early in the morning. If they were up on the hill, they were pregnant; if they were in the sty, it hadn't worked. The next morning, he leapt from the bed and looked up the hill, but alas the pigs were down in the mud.

Grumbling, he loaded them back into the pickup and headed for the neighbors. The following three mornings were just the same; he would leap from the bed, look up the hill, find the pigs down in the mud and have to return them to the neighbors to let the boars have another shot at them.

On the fifth morning, he didn't have the courage to look and see for himself if they still weren't pregnant, so he asked his wife to look out the window. "Are the pigs up on the hill this morning?"

"Nope!" she replied, "they are all in the back of the truck and one of them is up front honking the horn!"

 

[Old Buck]

Read this one only if you are a conservative or republican.

SCROLL DOWN - Please donate to the Hillary fund!


A stockbroker, on his way home from work in NY City, came to a dead halt in traffic and thought to himself, "Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual. Nothing's even moving."


He notices a police officer walking back and forth between the lines of cars, so he rolls down his window and asks, "Officer what's the hold up?"


The officer replies, "Hillary Clinton is just so depressed about all the New Yorkers making her the butt of so many jokes, she stopped her motorcade in the middle of the freeway and she's threatening to douse herself in gasoline and set herself on fire. She says her husband is running around on her more than ever and the Democrats told her to forget about the presidency in 2004. So we're taking up a collection for her."


The broker asks "Oh really? How much have you got so far?"


The officer replies "About 4 1/2 gallons, but a lot of folks are still siphoning."