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KingBonker's New Throne

T

turkeyriver

PMA Member
This tale starts during 2nd season this spring. Bonker was up to the Stabbin Cabin for our annual hunt. The "facilities" consist of a 5 gallon pail with the bottom cut out over a hole dug up the hill behind the cabin, well hidden in the cedars for privacy. I even have one of those toilet seats snapped on the pail for comfort. Well, the hole had partially caved in since I had checked it, making the pail tilt a bit and making capacity an issue as well. Bonker proceeded to fill the remaining space with chocolate donut and spagettio remains. Of course, he complained and whined the whole time about the throne being sub par, but he didn't offer to dig a new hole. I dug a new hole after season and reset the pail so all was well. Fast forward to 4th season. I was planting corn and couldn't hunt but Bonks came up and gave it his best shot(he didn't get a bird). I came up for a beer Sat. night and asked how he liked the new throne."Great" was his reply and I forgot about the whole business. This morning I walked up behind the cabin for my first hunt of the 4th season and looking through the cedars saw some wildly colored flowers!
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My first thought was that Bonker had dispatched a mushroom hunter, or more likely, dedgeez; since he's always threatening to crash our hunts and show us how it's done, and had stuufed the body down the hole. At least he had been decent enough to put some nice flowers out for the poor guy. As I lifted the lid to see who the poor soul was, this image scarred my brain for life
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My son called me and asked how I got a pic of Bonker like that and he knew I couldn't photoshop it into the pic. Nope. That is a Bonker selfie that he printed and taped under the seat to stay for eternity.
 
Why not put the pic in the bottom of the hole? At least he is thinking ahead with the walker when he isn't able to get around. Which ain't to far away. Flowers are a nice touch. You guys sure are nice to each other!
 
First things first. The selfie was my attempt to imitate the looks you give me when we play euchre and I do my classic "Lets see who has what" lead.

In my own defense, the last hole was so shallow my "stuff" was draggin on the bottom. Not to mention with three of you sharing the same genetics vis a vis GI motility the hole never stood a chance.

The throne still needs some fine tuning. I'm thinking a magazine rack, throne paper holder as well as a table for my beverage and wet wipes. I'm also thinking about an oversized umbrella but that would be ostentations.

Nothing can top the old "Muddy on his throne" pic.
 
With the all the garbage and tapifreakinoka that you guys consume I can completely understand the look of struggle on his face...

Not my style TR...I would have had a tent and chairs set up around the site for all the grieving people that have to endure bonkers irritable bowl syndrome...
 
bonkers irritable bowl syndrome... These are all separate world problems.
Bonker's irritable
Bonker's bowel
Bonker's Syndrome

And we won't even get into his card playing ability. Let's just say that any man who has both bowers and the ace in his hand, and leads with an off suit queen, DESERVES to lose the game.
 
Fishbonker said:
The throne still needs some fine tuning. I'm thinking a magazine rack, throne paper holder as well as a table for my beverage and wet wipes. I'm also thinking about an oversized umbrella but that would be ostentations.

Nothing can top the old "Muddy on his throne" pic.
Click to expand...

Might want to add some tin on 2 sides. Seems our Dunlap tire between three hickories was still in range of chicken eggs. Just sayin. :D
 
turkeyriver said:
bonkers irritable bowl syndrome... These are all separate world problems.
Bonker's irritable
Bonker's bowel
Bonker's Syndrome

And we won't even get into his card playing ability. Let's just say that any man who has both bowers and the ace in his hand, and leads with an off suit queen, DESERVES to lose the game.
Click to expand...

Sounds like chapped butt sore loser talk to me. I'm pretty sure I won the hand and probably the game. I never ever bid over two so if I got the lead it means you were too chicken to out bid me. I do admit that I may, from time to time, forget what suit trump is and that I am unable to keep track of what's been played but I always try to make playing cards, much like life, an unpredictable adventure.

You may be on to something; IBS, Irritable Bonker Syndrome. I see an NIH grant in my future. Of course most of the research will be preformed while perched on the new throne. Bring on the birdseed bread, TR stew, habaneros, canned chili, marinated beaver loin and convenience store roller hot dogs.

PS, I don't believe I lost that game.
 
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