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Chuck Norris...

muddy

muddy

Well-Known Member
Time to rekindle a new thread. Post one at a time, give it a day or so before you repost.

"The eleven secret herbs and spices in KFC chicken can be found naturally in Chuck Norris's beard"

OK, I can't resist this one, I laughed till it hurt.

"Chuck Norris became one-fourth Cherokee after winning the 1999 "Who can eat a Jeep?" competition"
 
Chuck Norris's sweat cures cancer.... The only problem is that Chuck Norris never sweats...
 
Chuck Norris does not breathe...he holds air hostage.

The grass is always greener on the other side...unless Chuck Norris is there, then the grass is stained with blood and tears.

Kanye West tried taking the microphone away from Chuck Norris at this year's VMA's. The result was a tornado kick and a theater full of dead celebrities.
 
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun!
 
Watched a old movie where Bruce Lee kicked Chucks ass. Bruce died young in his sleep. Makes you wonder if Chuck just thought him dead !
 
chuck norris

Chuck Norris gets in the ring to fight MMA champ Brock Lesnar. Before the fight starts Lesnar says one word. "uncle"
 
It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.
 
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"Chuck Norris plays battleship with the US Navy"

"Some people see the glass has half full, while others see the glass as half empty. Chuck Norris only sees Scotch."

"The French surrender to Chuck Norris every single day at 2 pm, Central Standard Chuck Norris Time."

"Chuck Norris does not have hair on his testicles because hair does not grow on steel."

"Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, but Jack still could not duck Chuck Norris's spinning roundhouse kick."
 
"Chuck Norris had sex before his father"

"Chuck Norris can win a game of connect 4 in 3 moves"

"Chuck Norris has counted to infinity twice"

"Chuck Norris once ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one"

"Chuck Norris shoots down airplanes by pointing his finger and them and yelling BANG"
 
Go to Google, type in "Google won't" and hit the I'm feeling lucky button. Even Google knows about Chuck Norris.
 
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
 
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