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deer jokes

T

thegeneral

Guest
anyone know any good deer jokes? i have one to start with...

What do you call A deer with no eyes?


no Eye-Deer!!
 
Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car. Another hunter approached pulling his along too.

"Hey, I don't want to tell you how to do something ... but I can tell you that it's much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won't dig into the ground."

After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it.

A little while later one hunter said to the other, "You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!"

"Yeah, but we're getting farther from the truck," the other added.

Thought you might like this one
BT
 
A couple of Missouri hunters are out deer hunting when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.

The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy. I can help. First, lets make sure he's dead."

....There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says, "OK, now what?"
 
A young deer hunter was stalking through the brush when he came upon a very beautiful woman sunbathing in the nude. He quickly pointed his rifle at her and asked "Are you Game?" When she replied, "I sure am!" So he shot her!

HEHEHE!!!!!!
 
Here's another one for you guys and gals,

Three bucks are in a mountain meadow complaining. They've heard a rumor that a huge buck has entered their area, and they aren't happy about sharing any of their does.

The Alpha buck says, "You know, since we settled our differences and split up the does, I've been pretty happy with MY 30 does. I am not about to share any of MY does with this new buck."

The second toughest buck says, "Yeah, well I ended up with only 20 does, so I can't afford to share any of MY does."

The youngest buck says, "I may only be half as big as you guys, but I'm not going to give up any of My 10 does."

Suddenly the biggest, baddest buck they had ever seen appeared at the edge of the meadow. He must have weighed close to 375 pounds and with huge sweeping antlers. As the huge buck trotted towards the three other bucks the ground seemed to shake.

Suddenly the former Alpha buck is a bit more flexible, "Well, maybe I could spare a FEW does."

The second toughest buck says, "Maybe if I hide in the bushes, he'll leave me alone."

But the small, young buck is snorting, raking the brush and shaking his fledgling antlers in an extremely confrontational way.

Worried about the reckless youngster, the two older bucks trot over to the young buck and say, "Listen, son. It's not worth dying for. Just give the new buck your 10 does."

"He can HAVE my 10 does," replies the young buck, raking the brush and shaking his fledgling antlers again. "I'm just making sure he knows I'm a BUCK!"
 
Here's another one I heard. Thought you guys & gals might like this one!

Two men from the states were very excited about a 3 day hunting trip. They were going to Canada to hunt some big game animals, since they were just used to hunting small deer, rabbit, and squirrel in the states. The first day the game warden wished them luck cause it hadn't been a good season and no one had killed anything in two weeks.

The two men left to go hunting and when they came back that night the warden greeted them by saying, "Have any luck?" The men pulled up a huge buck that they had killed which had a bullet hole right between the eyes. The warden congratulated them and said, "That was one heck of a shot."

The next day the warden greeted the two men again before they left and again wished them luck. This night the men came back with an even bigger buck and the buck also had a bullet hole right between the eyes. The warden was amazed at their success and also the good aim the hunters had.

The last day went about the same as the first two and on the last night the two hunters came back with a huge grizzly bear. The bear also had a bullet hole right between the eyes but it also had a hole in each paw. The warden noticed this and questioned the two men how that happened. One of the hunters replied with, "That's where he tried to cover his eyes from the spot light."
 
A hunter accidentally shoots his partner while hunting and rushes him to the hospital.

After hours of surgery the Dr. enters the waiting room and the hunter asks him "well Doc is he gonna make it?"

The Doctor replies "He probably would have if you hadn't have field dressed him!"
 
An experienced hunter (Bob) decided to take his "city slicker" (Vinney) buddy deer hunting one fall. When they got into the woods, Bob put Vinney on stand overlooking a nice ravine while he went over the next hill to cover the next ravine. A couple hours later, Bob heard a shot followed shortly afterwards with a yelling match between a very mad Vinney and someone else. Bob came running over the hill and asked Vinney what was going on. Vinney was pointing his gun at a stranger and yelled "this guy is trying to claim the doe I just shot!". The scared stranger said, "he can have the darned thing, but can I please take my saddle off of it 1st.".
 
This one I heard a long time ago:
two buddies went deer hunting after a night on the town they are both very tired and not feling very well. they reach the hunting area and decide to split up well hunter #1 gets the real cramping feeling in his stomach so he is looking for a place to go behold he finds a pile of junk and in this junkpile is an old wicker seated chair with the wicker missing so he thinks what a great thing so he sets down and does his duty man its so nice sitting there with the warm sun on him and out of the wind he falls off to sleep. Well his buddy has shot a deer and comes looking for him and finds him sleeping with his drawers down on this chair so he thinks he will have some fun he goes and get the gut pile from his deer and puts it under his buddies chair then goes behind some trees and shoots several shots off and then heads back toward the car a little later his friend gets back and is all pale looking so his buddy asks him what is the matter and he tells him about having to go so bad and finding the chair and everything and his buddy says so why are you looking so pale
he says I was awakened by something and it must have really scared me bad because when
he looked under the chair I discovered that I had crapped out all my guts i was scared as hell but dont' fret i found a stick and poked them all back in.
 
A young man from the city went to visit his farmer uncle. For the first few days, the uncle showed him the usual things - chickens, cows, crops, etc. After three days, however, it was obvious that the nephew was getting bored, and the uncle was running out of things to amuse him with.

Finally, the uncle had an idea. "Why don't you grab a gun, take the dogs, and go shooting?"

This seemed to cheer the nephew up, and with enthusiasm, off he went, dogs in trail.

After a few hours, the nephew returned.

"How did you enjoy that?" asked the uncle.

"It was great!" exclaimed the nephew. "Got any more dogs?"


[This message has been edited by GDCooper (edited 02-04-2002).]
 
A couple of out of state hunters decided to go on a guided hunt on a huge tract of land. One rifle hunter and one bow hunter.The guide shows them where to go and explains that if they somehow get lost, to just shoot three times into the air and he will come find them. Around dark, the hunters are lost. Recalling what the guide had said, one of them shot three times into the air. He then exclaimed, I hope he's on his way cause I'm all out of arrows.
 
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