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How True!!

jharrell

New Member
These are good,


Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not
achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

You should not confuse your career with your life.

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

Never lick a steak knife.

The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday.
That time is age eleven.

The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
(This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

Your friends love you anyway.

Never be afraid to try something new.
Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark.
A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
 
Thanks
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Those are good

Here are some good ones for IOWA
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Jeff Foxworthy says you must be an Iowan if . . . .

*You've never met any celebrities...and you don't really care.

*Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
*"Vacation" means driving through the Amanas or going to Adventureland.

*You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.

*You measure distance in minutes.

*Down south to you means Missouri.

*You know several people who have hit a deer.

*You have no problem spelling or pronouncing Des Moines.

*You know the answer to the question, "Is this Heaven?"

*Your school classes were cancelled because of cold.

*Your school classes were cancelled because of heat.

*You know what "Hawks, Panthers, and Clones" are.

*You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way

*You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day

*You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better"

*You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July &
*Stores don't have bags, they have sacks.

*You see people wearing bib overalls at funerals
*You see a car running in the parking lot at the Quick Stop with no one in it no matter what time of the year

*You end your sentences with an unnecessary exposition. (Example: "Where's my coat at?")

*All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable or animal.
*You can locate Iowa on the U.S. map.

*Detassling was your first job or that of a brother or sister.

*You've been on a "Geode Hunt"

*Your idea of a really great tenderloin is when the meat is twice as big as the bun and accompanied only by ketchup and a dill pickle slice.

*You learn your pickup will run without a muffler

*You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked

*When asked how your trip was to any foreign, exotic place, you say "It was different"

*Being a bit younger, you remember Terry Branstad as the governor the whole time you were growing up.

*You consider being called a "Pork Queen" an honor

*People from other states love to hear you say Iowa and other words with "Os" in them

*You carry jumper cables in your car

*You drink "pop

*You know what the numbers 80, 35, 280 and 380 mean

*You know what "cow chips" are.
 
lol! I never knew the one about Iowans saying o's differrent until I spent a few months in Colorado Springs a few years ago, those guys couldnt get enough of the way I pronounce words with o's in them.
 
...I love it!...
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...I also heard that putting sauer kraut on pizza is an Iowa thing too!...
 
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