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"Southern Republicans"

Rackaddict

Rackaddict

Life Member
What with elections coming up, we should all decide.
Question? How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans and Southern Republicans?
Now look closely. Answer. Pose the following question: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------Democrat's Answer: Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or Oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
Republican's Answer: BANG! -- -----------------
Southern Republican's Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click....(sounds of reloading). BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips??


<font color="red"> Disclaimer: Not intended to offend any persons politcal preference....this is simply a joke. </font>
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exactly as it happens in Red Neck country, except we don't shoot the women, valuable trading material
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And another thing wrong, a Northern Rebulican would have 11 bangs followed by 10 bangs. Not 9 bangs followed by 9 bangs. One in the chamber, 10 in the clip followed by another full 10 round clip. Unless, of course, he had the hi-cap mags......

The 'Bonker
 
YeeeeHaaaaaw


(a southern expression of agreement, excitement or just plain too much corn wiskey)

Either way....yeeeeehaaaaaw
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So Jack(the southern republican born again christian) was returning to work Monday morning with two black eyes. His workmates were understandably curious: "Jack, what happened to you?!?" "It was the darndest thing! I was at church yesterday, and this fat lady stood up in front of me. You know how a dress can get stuck in the crack of the butt of a fat lady? It looked funny. I figured she wouldn't like that, so I just reached over and pulled it out with a little tug. Next thing I know, she spins around and socks me one!"
"Jeez, you got TWO black eyes in one blow?"
"Naw. After she turned back around, I figured she was angry that I pulled the dress out of her crack, so I tried to poke it back in."
 
You guys are cracking me up!!

A guy at work asked if I wanted to go to his wifes Tupperware party. Sounded great until I found out it had nothing to do with Glocks.
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Glock good!!!!
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