Chuck Norris...

[nannyslayer]

If you count from 1 to 10, thats how long it takes Chuck Norris to kill you........fourty seven times.

If you spell Chuck Norris in scrabble, you win. Forever

According to Eisteins theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you tomorrow, yesterday.

Chuck Norris once farted in the Ocean off of the east coast while swimming. That was known as the Thailand Tsunami.

Hellen Kellers favorite color is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris's first job was a paper boy, there were no survivors.

 

[nannyslayer]

Chuck Norris gagged Linda Lovelace.

 

[THA4]

Chuck Norris and Mr.T once got into a fight. Mr. T punched Chuck Norris as Chuck Norris round house kicked him in the face. The resulting impact was the 80′s.

The original title of Alien Vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris...The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.

 

[goatman]

Chuck Norris once told me to go out back and practice falling down.

 

[Skully]

The Boogy Man checks under his bed for Chuck Norris! :grin:

 

[captain]

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take crap from anybody

Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about.

 

[MadisonB&C]

Chuck Norris has no chin behind his beard...only another fist.

 

[dominator]

Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.

Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.

Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.

 

[Shredder]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was more "humane".[/FONT]

 

[dedgeez]

Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.

OMG............... I just peed a little!!!! Thats the best one yet.

 

[KANSAN]

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles exist because of Chuck Norris. One time Chuck Norris ate a turtle. What he crapped out was 6 foot tall, could talk, and kick some serious ass!!

 

[Windwalker]

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass at NIGHT !

 

[MadisonB&C]

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.