"His name was Jeremiah Johnson, and they say he wanted to be a mountain man. The story goes that he was a man of proper wit and adventurous spirit, suited to the mountains. Nobody knows whereabouts he come from and don't seem to matter much. He was a young man and ghosty stories about the tall hills didn't scare him none. He was looking for a Hawken gun, .50 caliber or better. He settled for a .30, but damn, it was a genuine Hawken, and you couldn't go no better. Bought him a good horse, and traps, and other truck that went with being a mountain man, and said good-bye to whatever life was down there below."
I can't believe this one hasn't been posted yet....One of my all time favs:
JEREMIAH JOHNSON!
"Are you sure you can skin griz?" "Just as fast as you can get me one." "You sure are cocky for a starvin' pilgrim."
"Didn't put 'nuf dirt down. Saw it, right off"
"Watch yer top knot." "Yep. Watch yorn."
"You cook good rabbit pilgrim."
"Elk don't know how many feet a horse has."
" Just where is it I could find bear, beaver, and other critters worth cash money when skinned?"
" I, Hatchet Jack, being of sound mind and broke legs, do leaveth my rifle to the next thing who finds it, Lord hope he be a white man. It is a good rifle, and kilt the bear that kilt me. Anyway, I am dead. Sincerley, Hatchet Jack."
And the best for last...
"But don't get me wrong; I loves the womens, I surely do. But I swear, a woman's breast is the hardest rock that the Almighty ever made on this earth, and I can find no sign on it."
