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Women advice

My first wife didn't understand the hunting obsession and was a city slicker, thus it didn't work out. Thank God. Now the second wife never grew up with hunting. By the time she came into my life, I had horns and prints all over the house so there wasn't much she could do. She has since taken up hunting and though I think she would rather have less heads an prints around, she doesn't say much unless there is company over.
I know as being a hunter I pride myself in beating mother nature and I like to show off my hard work. So I think if you try to cross that bridge when you get there you will lose that battle, which will then create a war. Compromise is always good but compressing your passion due to their dislike will only end in arguments and resentment. Trust me I went through this. With that being said "best of Luck".
 
We have them in the living room and my office. She wants more to hang around the house, so all is well in the Dunkin household. Her sister on the other hand, is a city slicker and loves to judge. The first time she stopped by to visit and saw all the deer heads, she had a weird look on her face and said "Wow, this is just creepy…not sure how you can do this?" I replied right away and said, "if you don't like it, get the H*LL out." Now, she knows where I stand and keeps her mouth shut.
 
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I guess I'm lucky in that my first few mounts were my wife's idea. She wanted them. That was even before she started hunting herself. Now 4 or 5 of them are hers. Over all I think we have 15 or 16 shoulder mounts or pedestals, a handful of birds & a bobcat. Plus a bunch of euros, tanned hides & turkey fans. Running out of space ( & still have two deer & a turkey at the taxi) but I'm addicted. :rolleyes: At first I put them all in the lower level of the house so as to not offend anyone (her mother) who might be a bit sensitive. Wife's mother has passed now & others who might be offended have the option of sitting on the porch or going home, so may need to expand "trophy room" to main floor. Need to plan ahead for that trophy elk that's on my Bucket List. :D

“Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.”
― Albert Einstein
 
Only you and your gf/spouse can ultimately work it out.

But…It’s all about compromise how I see it on home decor. When we got our current house, she got the upstairs and I got the basement. Seeing that it’s a ranch house, it’s pretty fair. In “my” basement there are 2 mounts so far, my first archery buck and her first deer (she got it last year). Also on display are sheds, prints that were bought at banquets, turkey fans and furs. I am sure some visitors that come to visit are not wild about it but in my eyes…they can go upstairs.

My wife was/is a city slicker and had never grown up around hunting/guns. I have slowly gotten her to go hunting with me and she actually got her first deer last year. I am also getting my kids into hunting/outdoors early. Even when they were 2yrs old they were excited for me to come home and see what I got or hear my stories.

Have you had any other talks on your hunting hobbies or other hobbies and what she thinks is too much? I could be more open to compromise when hunting season comes about. I told her not to plan on me in attendance to any functions from October to January (our wedding was in June, all kids birthdays are in the summer). We have had some pretty good arguments early on but I would still go hunting. I am an outdoorsman, it’s who I am down to the bone and I cannot change. When hunting season ends, I am pretty much open to everything she wants to do. I don’t go to other guy hobbies like golf, go to bars, watch sports so that helps. She also free to take trips all she wants in my “off-season” with or without me.

I just see my friends that started compromising and now they hunt very little, if at all. I have one that only gets 4 weekends a year that they can do what they want and it has to be pre-planned out. It might work for them but that would not work for me. You just have to pick your battles on what you are passionate about and stick to your guns. I assume she has some things she would equally passionate about.
 
It will start out with not wanting shoulder mounts next thing you know you will be sitting on a bench in the mall the first week of November instead of a treestand. It's a slippery slope. My advice would be make sure you are both aware of each others passions and flaws before you get married. Actually sit down and talk about them. It will save some fights down the road. Our agreement was she can do whatever she wants with the main level and the basement is mine. Then all I had to do was find a house with a nice open basement. We did and I think I got the better end of the deal.
 
I have 1 in the bedroom 2 in the upstairs living room 1 in the down stairs living room euro mounts 1 in bedroom 2 in living room,antlers all over.No problem for me my wife don't mind.
 
I think your seeing a bunch of guys saying be careful in the nicest way possible. No person is worth losing who you are over. It's really easy to get caught up in buddies getting married and having kids, parents wanting grand kids and so on. The toughest part is recognizing the warning signs when your in the relationship because you love the person dearly. It's easy to shake it off and think they will change or it won't be that bad. The reality is that over 50% of people are getting divorced because they don't acknowledge those warning signs. The intention of marriage is to happen once and only once in your lifetime, with your sole mate. If she's really the one for you she will accept your passions just as you would hers. You will be able to compromise and keep each other happy. The problems begin when one person asks the other to change who they are..........

Good luck and it might not be a bad idea to have her read this thread. Maybe it would open her eyes up a little bit. Now the flip side is she is going to get mad as hell and tell you you can't socialize with us heathens:)
 
hoosierhunter said:
Honestly this is a major red flag IMO. To me it says she isn't supportive of your life passion.(assuming hunting is). This is a dead serious conversation you need to have with her before you pop that question.

Just a note, I actually killed my 2nd biggest deer to date when my buddies girlfriend kept him out of the woods on Dec 10th 2011 because she said he hunted too much that year. I went in and hunted the stand and stuck squirly who we had hunted for 3 years. Believe me I've never let him forget that and yes he did get rid of her!
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Well…it's obvious there's a variety of opinion on here, and that's OK. There was a part of me that agreed with this opinion years ago, but today, I do not. As our 3 children have grown and approached/reached adult status, my wife and I have tried to share our belief about their search for a lifetime mate, and that is to look for someone who shares their faith!! Not necessarily someone who shares their passion for hunting, will allow mounts in the house, blah, blah, blah…but a partner who shares their faith in our Savior. Once that's in place, all else will take care of itself, and maybe if more of us took that approach our posts wouldn't begin with "my first wife…" My only wife (of nearly 30 years) is the blessing of my life…even though she doesn't hunt, sometimes questions how much I do, and occasionally wonders how many mounts would be too many :D I wouldn't trade her for millions, or for a 300 inch nontypical…and she'll likely never see this post (I hope :D ) Anyway, that's my input, and if there are those out there who see it differently, that's fine too.

NWBuck
 
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Thinkin Rut said:
This is a great idea...give her a small room, probably in the basement, that she can put her crafts, nik naks and girlie things and you get the rest of the house as your man cave. Really, that is what she is asking of you. Hmm... give and take and compromise?
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Thank you…clarifies for me once again how different you and I are. Many of those crafts, nik naks and "girly things" around the remainder of our home involve other aspects of our family life that I treasure as well. Kids pics and projects, fond family memories, nik nak hand-me-downs from grandparents no longer with us, etc. I love hunting whitetails, but faith, family and friends reach way higher on the priority list for me. Just my 2 cents…I understand others feel differently.

NWBuck
 
I am up to 10 shoulders a couple euros and a bunch of big sheds. Wife doesn't care how many I get as long as they stay in my portion of the house which is the entire upstairs. Only stipulation is no birds, she hates birds. I agreed to that
 
Sorry I can't help my gf thinks the mounts are awesome and wants the house to be full of them. She's 100% supportive of my lifestyle and is now going to start hunting soon
 
NWBuck said:
Thank you…clarifies for me once again how different you and I are. Many of those crafts, nik naks and "girly things" around the remainder of our home involve other aspects of our family life that I treasure as well. Kids pics and projects, fond family memories, nik nak hand-me-downs from grandparents no longer with us, etc. I love hunting whitetails, but faith, family and friends reach way higher on the priority list for me. Just my 2 cents…I understand others feel differently.

NWBuck
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That's how we view it. I have come to terms with her being better at home décor than I am. Both of us putting our faith first does make everything else fall into place.

That actually lets me hunt more and still have a happy wife at home. Sounds weird, but it does work that way. Women that say you are hunting too much really are viewing it as hunting is being put ahead of them...least in my experience.
 
It is very interesting to read the variety of posts here. There is an array of good advice here, some good and some questionable, but you know your gf better than us. Compromise is a must and should go both ways. However, just as sportsmen evolve through different stages we teach about in hunters ed, we as men (hopefully) evolve in what is most important to us. There will be things more important than deer and trophies.
 
Personally, I don't really like mounts all over the house. I like to have a room where they all are that I can go to, relax and take a trip down memory lane. My house has 4 different levels on it. The deepest basement we have is all mine to do what I want with. The wife gets the rest of the house. It is not completely finished yet but is a project that will happen sometime here. Right now I have 5 heads up and 3 racks. I also will have my full body mount when it is finished. A lot of room for more and the wife doesn't care what I do down there.

I also have an unfinished 24x42 garage behind the house that I can do whatever I want with. Some day it will be an awesome shop. Just takes time and money. We have a 2.5 car attached garage as well that most our stuff is in and all my hunting stuff is in the man garage. Also have a 12 x 16 shed that holds a lot of stuff.

You just need to talk it out with the gf. It is really not fair for her to have the whole house and not really fair for you to have the whole house either.
 
I comprimised by putting my wife and kids shoulder mounts on the wall with mine. We have 10 in the living room, 10 in our bedroom and 1 in daughter room. Have 3 more getting mounted so we will see where they go. My youngest turns 18 in a week, so the new ones might have to go in my naked room I'm going to be making! LOL!
 
NWBuck said:
Well…it's obvious there's a variety of opinion on here, and that's OK. There was a part of me that agreed with this opinion years ago, but today, I do not. As our 3 children have grown and approached/reached adult status, my wife and I have tried to share our belief about their search for a lifetime mate, and that is to look for someone who shares their faith!! Not necessarily someone who shares their passion for hunting, will allow mounts in the house, blah, blah, blah…but a partner who shares their faith in our Savior. Once that's in place, all else will take care of itself, and maybe if more of us took that approach our posts wouldn't begin with "my first wife…" My only wife (of nearly 30 years) is the blessing of my life…even though she doesn't hunt, sometimes questions how much I do, and occasionally wonders how many mounts would be too many :D I wouldn't trade her for millions, or for a 300 inch nontypical…and she'll likely never see this post (I hope :D ) Anyway, that's my input, and if there are those out there who see it differently, that's fine too. NWBuck
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NW I agree with you for the most part. A persons significant others doesn't need to partake in the others hobbies although shared interests helps. Just as faith is extremely important to have in common, but that cannot be the only common ground between the two. My concern would be that if hunting is becoming a nuisance so early on(prior to marriage), it's only going to magnify with time. Like someone said with the wife feeling like your choosing hunting over her or the family. That's a sign of bigger issues than just hunting. I also agree with having one room or area designated to hunting such as the basement , finished pole barn, man cave etc.
 
NWBuck said:
Well…it's obvious there's a variety of opinion on here, and that's OK. There was a part of me that agreed with this opinion years ago, but today, I do not. As our 3 children have grown and approached/reached adult status, my wife and I have tried to share our belief about their search for a lifetime mate, and that is to look for someone who shares their faith!! Not necessarily someone who shares their passion for hunting, will allow mounts in the house, blah, blah, blah…but a partner who shares their faith in our Savior. Once that's in place, all else will take care of itself, and maybe if more of us took that approach our posts wouldn't begin with "my first wife…" My only wife (of nearly 30 years) is the blessing of my life…even though she doesn't hunt, sometimes questions how much I do, and occasionally wonders how many mounts would be too many :D I wouldn't trade her for millions, or for a 300 inch nontypical…and she'll likely never see this post (I hope :D ) Anyway, that's my input, and if there are those out there who see it differently, that's fine too. NWBuck
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Exactly, best response yet IMO - please read NW post seriously....at what level are we putting deer here? Holy smokes people, they aren't "gods" but sometimes (me included) we make them out to be. Put them somewhere where she is happy and live a happy life. I personally spend WAY more time with my wife than deer heads or deer hunting...
 
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