gersdorf
Life Member
I will help out S2K.
What do you call a Hawkeye fan with half a brain?
GIFTED!
If you see a Hawkeye player riding a bike why should you not hit him?
It's probably your bike!
Your trapped in a room with an angry grizzly bear, a hungry mountain lion, and a hawk fan. You have a gun but only two bullets what should you do?
Shoot the hawk fan twice!
It was reported that Kirk Ferentz will only be dressing 20 players for the game Saturday vs. ISU,
The rest of the team will have to dress themselves!
What do you get when you cross a hawk fan with a pig?
Nothing, a pig would not stoop that low.
What is the hardest part of being a hawk fan?
Telling your parents you're gay.
What is the difference between a hawk fan and a carp?
One is a bottom feeding scum sucker and the other is a fish.
What do you get when you see an Iowa fan buried up to their neck in sand?
Get more sand.
What do you say to a Hawkeye football player dressed in a three piece suit?
Will the defendant please rise.
A hawk fan walks into a doctors office with a frog sitting on his head, the doctor asks what can i do for you?
the frog replies, could you please remove this wart from my butt?
How can you tell if its homecoming weekend at Iowa ?
The cheerleaders have braided their armpit hair.
If three Hawkeye football players are in a car who is driving?
The cop.
What do you call a Hawkeye fan with half a brain?
GIFTED!
If you see a Hawkeye player riding a bike why should you not hit him?
It's probably your bike!
Your trapped in a room with an angry grizzly bear, a hungry mountain lion, and a hawk fan. You have a gun but only two bullets what should you do?
Shoot the hawk fan twice!
It was reported that Kirk Ferentz will only be dressing 20 players for the game Saturday vs. ISU,
The rest of the team will have to dress themselves!
What do you get when you cross a hawk fan with a pig?
Nothing, a pig would not stoop that low.
What is the hardest part of being a hawk fan?
Telling your parents you're gay.
What is the difference between a hawk fan and a carp?
One is a bottom feeding scum sucker and the other is a fish.
What do you get when you see an Iowa fan buried up to their neck in sand?
Get more sand.
What do you say to a Hawkeye football player dressed in a three piece suit?
Will the defendant please rise.
A hawk fan walks into a doctors office with a frog sitting on his head, the doctor asks what can i do for you?
the frog replies, could you please remove this wart from my butt?
How can you tell if its homecoming weekend at Iowa ?
The cheerleaders have braided their armpit hair.
If three Hawkeye football players are in a car who is driving?
The cop.
Seth
New Member
It's halftime of the Iowa- ISU game. Iowa is obliterating the CryClowns. Back in the ISU locker room, coach Chizek is fuming mad yelling and screaming at his players for how poorly they are playing.
"You call yourselves men!? You are playing horrible! In all my years I've never seen a team as pathetic as you are. You have no fire, no heart, no toughness!!"
In a fit, he storms into the shower room and comes back out with a 7 foot alligator and he throws it down onto the floor in front of his players. Wide eyed and scared they all step back away from the hissing reptile. Coach Chizek sternly says,
"I'm gonna show you what tough really is"
He unzips his pants and pulls them down, trousers and all. He stands over the angry gator dangling his manhood in front of it. All of the sudden the gator lunges and snaps! With all his manhood firmly clenched between the sharp teeth of the gator Coach Chizek looks at his players, one by one, square in the eye with no expression on his face.
After 5 minutes he punches the gator square on the head and it releases it's grip and slithers away. Coach calmly pulls up his trousers and pants and says,
"Alright who's next? Who thinks they are tough enough, man enough to handle that?"
A squeeky, shrill voice speaks up from the back of the locker room and the ISU kicker emerges from the crowd.
"I am coach, just promise you wont punch me that hard, OK?"
"You call yourselves men!? You are playing horrible! In all my years I've never seen a team as pathetic as you are. You have no fire, no heart, no toughness!!"
In a fit, he storms into the shower room and comes back out with a 7 foot alligator and he throws it down onto the floor in front of his players. Wide eyed and scared they all step back away from the hissing reptile. Coach Chizek sternly says,
"I'm gonna show you what tough really is"
He unzips his pants and pulls them down, trousers and all. He stands over the angry gator dangling his manhood in front of it. All of the sudden the gator lunges and snaps! With all his manhood firmly clenched between the sharp teeth of the gator Coach Chizek looks at his players, one by one, square in the eye with no expression on his face.
After 5 minutes he punches the gator square on the head and it releases it's grip and slithers away. Coach calmly pulls up his trousers and pants and says,
"Alright who's next? Who thinks they are tough enough, man enough to handle that?"
A squeeky, shrill voice speaks up from the back of the locker room and the ISU kicker emerges from the crowd.
"I am coach, just promise you wont punch me that hard, OK?"
Waukon1
Well-Known Member
After last years game, 1 IA state cheerleader and 2 IA cheerleaders had a very late night drinking. They left in the early
morning hours and went home their separate ways. The next day, they all met and
compared notes about who was drunkest the night before.
The Ia state cheerleader claimed that she was the drunkest, saying, "I drove
straight home and walked into the house. As soon as I got through the door I
blew chunks for 15 minutes."
The 1st Ia cheerleader said, "You think that was drunk? Hell I got into my car and
wrapped my car around the first tree I saw. I don't even have insurance!
the 2nd Ia cheerleader proclaimed, "Damn, I was the drunkest by far. When I got
home, I got into a big fight with my boyfried, knocked a candle over, and burned
the whole house down!"
The room was silent for a moment. Then, IOWA STATE GIRL spoke out again,
"Listen girls, I don't think you understand...Chunks is my dog."
morning hours and went home their separate ways. The next day, they all met and
compared notes about who was drunkest the night before.
The Ia state cheerleader claimed that she was the drunkest, saying, "I drove
straight home and walked into the house. As soon as I got through the door I
blew chunks for 15 minutes."
The 1st Ia cheerleader said, "You think that was drunk? Hell I got into my car and
wrapped my car around the first tree I saw. I don't even have insurance!
the 2nd Ia cheerleader proclaimed, "Damn, I was the drunkest by far. When I got
home, I got into a big fight with my boyfried, knocked a candle over, and burned
the whole house down!"
The room was silent for a moment. Then, IOWA STATE GIRL spoke out again,
"Listen girls, I don't think you understand...Chunks is my dog."
avidhunter
New Member
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: CLOACA</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Must of been an Art Major at ISU. Cardboard, spraypaint, and duct tape. A+++++
</div></div> It was probably one of ISU's architectural students /forum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif
</div></div> It was probably one of ISU's architectural students /forum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif
Shoot2Kill
Active Member
One more day!
GO CLONES! Any score predictions? Can't wait to go 8 out of 11. /forum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif
GO CLONES! Any score predictions? Can't wait to go 8 out of 11. /forum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif
Full Quiver
New Member
Limb, that is some funny stuff! Keep it coming.
GO HAWKS!!!
GO HAWKS!!!
doublerack
Active Member
Limb... that's some good stuff....
180class
Well-Known Member
'Twas the night before kickoff, in Double-Oh-Eight
and the Cyclones would visit the dark side of the state.
The Hawks and the Cyclones are both two and oh,
And it's anyone's guess how this game will go.
The fan bases were ready like they are every year,
with the jokes, and the putdowns…the usual jeers.
But this year was different, it seemed to the masses,
Because Kirk and his staff had to cover their *****.
The players were tucked all way in their beds,
While their playbooks and gameplans danced in their heads.
The Cyclones at the hotel, the Hawks in the dorms,
Where they spent the night watching some bad scrambled porn.
Then morning arose, and the trailer parks cleared,
And the tailgates began with grilled brats and cold beer.
The seats became full as the fans in they filed,
At the stadium known as the House of De Nile.
When all of a sudden, there arose such a clamor,
And the Cyclones appeared, to go drop the hammer.
With I-State on their helmet, and no name on their back,
Coach Chizik yelled out, "Men, it's time to attack!"
"Now Austen! Now Parker!
Now, Bibbs, Bates and Tate!
On, A-Rob! On, R.J.!
Let's go seal their fate!
To the fifty-yard line,
Win the flip, take the ball!
Now dash away! Dash away!
Dash away all!"
The Cyclones would call tails and then take the kick,
And for the next 60 minutes Hawk fans would be sick.
Arnaud got it started from the first play at the line,
As he dropped back and rolled out and hit R.J. for nine.
And then it was time for the Robinson show,
He took the handoff , cut left, and for a TD he'd go.
No more than a minute had run off of the clock,
And already the tears flowed from Herky the Hawk.
Then the Hawkeyes came out with their quarterback Stanzi,
And that's when the Cyclones proved him a pansy .
He scrambled and panicked and then threw pick,
And the Cyclones then settled for a Mahoney kick.
10-zip for the Cyclones said the board with the score,
Don't go away State fans, there's oh so much more!
For this day is ours, it belongs to the Clones,
As play after play we kicked them in the stones.
The Cyclones would dominate both sides of the ball,
Arnaud, Bates and Sumrall with enormous games all.
Exposed were the buzzards 23-oh at half,
This would be the last Corn Bowl for St. Kirk and his staff.
As the second half started only Clone fans remained,
The Hawk players desire and want-to was drained.
Iowa State would go on to score 44,
The Hawkeyes got 7, and not another point more.
Even delusional Hawk fans had no excuse,
Not when by so many points did they lose.
3 and Oh are the Cyclones as our fans showed no pity,
When we yelled to our brethren, "See Ya In Sin City!".
and the Cyclones would visit the dark side of the state.
The Hawks and the Cyclones are both two and oh,
And it's anyone's guess how this game will go.
The fan bases were ready like they are every year,
with the jokes, and the putdowns…the usual jeers.
But this year was different, it seemed to the masses,
Because Kirk and his staff had to cover their *****.
The players were tucked all way in their beds,
While their playbooks and gameplans danced in their heads.
The Cyclones at the hotel, the Hawks in the dorms,
Where they spent the night watching some bad scrambled porn.
Then morning arose, and the trailer parks cleared,
And the tailgates began with grilled brats and cold beer.
The seats became full as the fans in they filed,
At the stadium known as the House of De Nile.
When all of a sudden, there arose such a clamor,
And the Cyclones appeared, to go drop the hammer.
With I-State on their helmet, and no name on their back,
Coach Chizik yelled out, "Men, it's time to attack!"
"Now Austen! Now Parker!
Now, Bibbs, Bates and Tate!
On, A-Rob! On, R.J.!
Let's go seal their fate!
To the fifty-yard line,
Win the flip, take the ball!
Now dash away! Dash away!
Dash away all!"
The Cyclones would call tails and then take the kick,
And for the next 60 minutes Hawk fans would be sick.
Arnaud got it started from the first play at the line,
As he dropped back and rolled out and hit R.J. for nine.
And then it was time for the Robinson show,
He took the handoff , cut left, and for a TD he'd go.
No more than a minute had run off of the clock,
And already the tears flowed from Herky the Hawk.
Then the Hawkeyes came out with their quarterback Stanzi,
And that's when the Cyclones proved him a pansy .
He scrambled and panicked and then threw pick,
And the Cyclones then settled for a Mahoney kick.
10-zip for the Cyclones said the board with the score,
Don't go away State fans, there's oh so much more!
For this day is ours, it belongs to the Clones,
As play after play we kicked them in the stones.
The Cyclones would dominate both sides of the ball,
Arnaud, Bates and Sumrall with enormous games all.
Exposed were the buzzards 23-oh at half,
This would be the last Corn Bowl for St. Kirk and his staff.
As the second half started only Clone fans remained,
The Hawk players desire and want-to was drained.
Iowa State would go on to score 44,
The Hawkeyes got 7, and not another point more.
Even delusional Hawk fans had no excuse,
Not when by so many points did they lose.
3 and Oh are the Cyclones as our fans showed no pity,
When we yelled to our brethren, "See Ya In Sin City!".